Forgiveness/Letting Go


Life has different ways of teaching us it's lessons. I woke up this rising to a post that asked the question: (a woman to her boyfriend) "How many times am I supposed to forgive you?" The video attached to it was a man singing his numbers in a high-pitched tone, which made me laugh out loud! It instantly made me think of my upbringing and being told, ultimately, that forgiveness towards others is constantly needed to be practiced for the sake of being forgiven and for the sake of one's own health and sanity. One thing that I realized was, growing up, I was never really told that it's ok and needed for me to forgive myself...for things in my past-decisions I made, thoughts I had, actions and words I participated in. I was always given the impression that forgiveness comes from some "thing" and/or someone else. I know it's difficult to forgive at times, so for those instances I practice working on emotionally letting go. The older I get, the more I have come to understand that self-care and self-love consist of so many things that (depending on who brought us up/taught us) we've ended up compartmentalizing, prioritizing, dismissing, etc. I'm realizing that these very things are what need to be dealt with personally for me to move on to the next step of my own greatness. We were told so much about how selfless (self-less) we need to be when it comes to being there for other people that we forget that WE ARE PEOPLE OURSELVES. We are also told, at the same time it seems, that no one is going to do anything for us ("nothing is going to just fall in your lap..."), we must do for ourselves, speak up for ourselves ("a closed mouth won't get fed"), and the like. A lot of us grow up and older, being in a lot of pain, emotional, mental and, eventually, physical because we weren't taught that balance, self-care and self-love include learning how to properly and gently let go of the mental and emotional toxicities of our past negative experiences that prevent us from growing maturely. We weren't told that just about everything we experience starts with self, first. We are not all children or robots needing to be told what to do or programmed into thinking certain ways. If and when we find ourselves in mental, emotional and physical pain(s), we (OURSELVES) have to look within-look at our thoughts, feelings, actions, words and their backgrounds to get to the "why." In doing so, personally, I came to see where I "messed up", was being immature, realized I don't (or didn't) know or was aware of as much as I needed to be, and I acted, thought, felt, etc. immaturely or prematurely. I now realize that I can and must get into the habit of forgiving myself and letting go of choices I made and experiences in my past that left me with negative feelings and thoughts that I have kept inside for far too long. It's time to let go! Even more so of the things that were never mine and never belonged to me. These things NEVER served me or my highest being. We must be present, willing and vocal about what does and does not belong to us. We have to truly know what is ours and what belongs to someone else that we take on as ours. We must deal with what is ours and not always depend on someone else to fix our messes. We must LET GO of what does not belong to us. We must put in practice not making or turning other people's messes into our messes. Our brains, hearts and guts are muscles that need to be taken care of, naturally and properly. Our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical selves are all connected. Let's go through the processes of forgiving ourselves and letting go of the pain that we impose on ourselves and that we allow other people and experiences to put upon us. All of it may not be our fault, but it is DEFINITELY OUR RESPONSIBILITY to HEAL ourselves, whatever that may mean to you. Let's have the conversations that are needed, write down our internal and external experiences that directly affect us personally, and DO THE WORK that is needed for us to reach our greatness. Treat Yourself, Naturally!

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